Why I Am Who I Am
by Trickster In The Shadows
Summary: Thor confronts Loki in his Asgardian cell with questions. Questions of why he did what he has done. But Loki does not speak a word of his motives to Thor, until he leaves that is.


Why I Am Who I Am

Thor's footsteps could be heard coming down the hall by Loki's sensitive ears. The heavy beats against the floor grew louder as he approached. The evenly spaced out a sure sound was determined with only one goal in mind. And soon after Loki's sense had picked them up he saw Thor entering his cold cell.

The cell itself was a very unpleasant place. The atmosphere was filled with dread and a smell of metal. The walls were dirty and a rust colour. The only furniture inside the room wee a hard and uncomfortable bed on the left side along with a bench connected to the wall on the other side. It was a dark place were no sunshine past the barred window high in the back of the room. Not even the moonlight passed through it.

And Thor was standing in the middle of the room staring at his brother, Loki, where he sat sitting on the edge of his bed. Thor was standing with his arms crossed over his chest, an obvious sign to his anger. His flaring nostrils and stiff jaw also sigs that today would not be peaceful for Loki. Loki felt himself tense slightly, prepared but was shocked when t Thor simply spat one word, "Why?"

Of course Loki knew what he was asking but h would not let Thor win so easily. He cocked his head slightly to the sign placing a mask of confusion onto his face, knitting his eyebrows and looking upwards for a second. Thor seemed to guess what Loki was doing though.

"You know what I mean brother." Loki's displeasure at that name had not lessened in his imprisonment, "Why did you do it? What made you want to murder innocent people and rule over Midgard? I want to know the truth Loki, none of the lies you spin with ease so much." Thor had moved to pull Loki of the bed by is hands previously placed on his thighs. He then placed his hand on the back of Loki's neck as an old sign of the past. "Tell me."

But Loki only raised his chin and stiffened. The new position had no effect on him. He would not tell anything to Thor. He would not speak to him. He would not take comfort in his warm embrace. He would never speak of his motives or thought to anything or anyone, neither _his dear brother_ nor a lifeless rock. Loki's face simply slid back into his emotionless sate and his eyes became hollow depths that showed no signs of information or feeling. The pure dark green depths were like a sea one could loss themself in.

Thor on the other hand, his emotions could clearly be read upon his features. Impatience, anger, sadness and the feeling he was trying to pass through an invincible wall. The last one was the hardest to face. The fact that he was not getting through to his brother mind or heart. The fact that no matter how many weeks, like many of the previous one before, he spent sitting with his brother, he would never touch what they had shared as children. It seemed that every day that his brother was more unreachable and that Thor had lost him forever. And when looking into Loki's eyes it was hard to doubt his own thoughts.

"Why, Loki? Why won't you speak to me as we once did brother?" This was the first time Thor had pressed for such answers. In his visits before, some were filled with a painful silence while others were made up of Thor speaking on different matters, Loki never replying. Sometimes he had hinted that he wanted the answers to the questions that burned n him mind but he was never this direct.

But still it seemed to have no se. Loki had not said a single word. He had not answered any of his questions. He hadn't even shown any emotion when Thor had taken him into an embrace they had shared since childhood. Loki was as silent as ever and truth be told, Thor almost didn't believe at all that his brother would respond to him. And now here he was having his thoughts proven to him.

So he left. He let go of his brother's neck and let his hand fall back to his side. He looked into his brother's eyes once more trying to sense any emotion or clues of what his thought were. He saw nothing, and he needed no more signs to tell him to leave. He turned towards the door, opened them and let them slam shut with a sharp lock behind him. He did not turn his back and glance over his shoulder. As he walked away his heart was heavy and his mind a disconnected array of thoughts.

But back in his cell, Loki had returned to his stiff bed and lay down. He faced the wall and curled in on himself, seeking some security and comfort. He gazed upon one spot on the wall, the same spot for who knows how long. Then he parted his lips in a heartfelt sigh of emotion, "Why, you ask, because even before I matured people had named me the God of Lies, Mischief and Chaos, Thor, that is why I am who I am."


End file.
